“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the university.”
Albert Einstein
In our work life, in many relationships, there is power based on the position you hold and who has more control over what you do. It could be immensely frustrating for those in lower positions to develop a mutually respectful relationship with their colleagues.
It is best to remember that this hierarchal power is temporary and that it can be equalised. By creating ways to assert yourself you can balance this imbalance especially when you feel dependent. It is important to strike a balance between being too assertive and not being assertive. When this is done properly you can develop a deeper trust and more healthy relationship.
Here are a few tips on how you can take steps towards balancing the power equation with a powerful colleague.
Decline certain requests.
It could be very difficult to decline requests from a more powerful colleague. You may find yourself powerless to decline these requests but at times there could be situations where their need for your help is as important as your need for their support. Occasionally, it is important to use this opportunity to decline their requests.
Power not only means having the ability to influence others but also having the ability to resist other’s influence. So when you find that your colleague comes up with last-minute requests putting you under undue stress, it may be a good idea to decline politely or inform that you will do it when you are free. You send a message that you expect them to respect your time. This would encourage them to respect your time and at the same time make accommodations as required so that a healthy relationship develops.
Connect them to others who value you.
Connect them to people they respect and with whom you have a good relationship. This shows them that you have something they value and may tip the scale in your favour as you have something they cherish and at the same time shows that you are not desperate for their approval.
Help them identify their blind spots and support them.
Everyone has blindspots and you can help identify it especially when it affects their career growth. This would raise your value in their eyes and they would view your association as valuable and pay more attention to your views.
This would help you become a trusted partner and not just a direct report and earn high respect for your feedback. Do this quietly but assertively so that what you say becomes very important and you start gaining respect from him.
Make them put in effort to gain your attention.
Create conditions when they must explain in detail what they expect from you. Put the burden on them to explain why you need to contribute. A
Making the powerful colleague expand on what he wants to be done from you can benefit you. It sets you apart from others and also ensures that you are doing work for someone who has identified your strengths and seeking your help and not someone who can be managed by them.
By adopting these tips, especially when you are in an unequal power structure, you can bring parity to your relationship. You can frame the relationship differently and get the respect you deserve for your contribution.
4 Ways to Earn the Respect of a More Powerful Colleague
by Nihar Chhaya
July 03, 2023
R2G 